Where I’ve Been
My life has been so crazy. I’m sure many of you can relate. I want to write more, but I can never seem to make the time. I’m currently typing as fast as I can, waiting on the timer on the oven to go off so I can serve my kids pizza for a late lunch. What’s the latest with me? Well, my health hasn’t been the best lately. Perhaps that’s because when my kids got sick a couple of months ago, I fell out of my Zumba routine and practically stopped exercising altogether.
By not ever putting myself first, I guess the stress finally caught up with me. I started having stabbing headaches in my left temple a few weeks ago. They would be like a quick stab, stab, stab and then they’d stop. But then I was left with a normal tension-like headache. The headaches would come and go about every other day for about a week. This started really concerning me because my mom was recently diagnosed with a mass between her brain and her skull. I guess when I added this anxiety to the worries and stress I face everyday, it all became too much for my body to handle. I woke up in the middle of the night and my heart was racing really fast and I felt hot and sick. This happened again the next night, only my body started shaking uncontrollably.
I got in to see my doctor. She ran an EKG and thankfully, it was fine. She ordered blood work and that showed that I was low on magnesium, so I started taking supplements. It’s amazing what all a deficiency in magnesium can cause. Every one of my symptoms, even that headaches, can be caused by magnesium deficiency. I seemed to be getting better, but then suddenly took a turn for the worse. I couldn’t stop shaking no matter how hard I tried and my heart was racing way too fast. I tried so hard to focus on God’s Word and meditate on the scriptures and listen to praise and worship music. I tried deep breathing techniques, massage oil for stress, and hot showers. But by last Tuesday night, nothing was working. I ended up going to the ER. They ran another EKG which also came back fine. After talking with the doctors, they were convinced that this was all from anxiety.
I still sit here in disbelief that my body failed me like that. I’m slowly on the road to recovery. I’m trying to make some time for myself. Today I went to the chiropractor and got a massage and an adjustment. I hate leaving the kids with my 16 year old, but sometimes it’s what I have to do to keep myself sane. Tomorrow I am following up with my doctor. I’m not sure what else she can say. I’ve stopped taking all of the anxiety medicines that she and the hospital put me on. Then on Wednesday I’m going to talk to a counselor at church. I’m also going to try to write on here more often. I just need outlets to get it all out.
Being a mom of four boys, homeschooling, paying the bills, and trying to keep up with the house (all while trying to keep God first in my life), is just so much to take on. I don’t know how others do it so gracefully. I know God was trying to get me to slow down, but unless He almost takes me out like last week, then it just seems nearly impossible to slow down. And I feel like my life runs at a much slower pace than most of the people I know. Most of my friends have schedules that keep them so busy, that they don’t have time for face-to-face relationships. It really breaks my heart. We need to put down our devices and start spending more quality time with each other.
Well, now you know where I’ve been. I have to go cut that pizza for my kids. I’ll be back as soon as I can.