Encouragement from One Mom to Another

Since Mother’s Day is in a couple of days, I wanted to write a post of encouragement for all the moms out there. I’ve been a mother for almost 21 years. That is so hard to believe. It really does go by so fast! I’ve been a young mother, a single mom, a mom who has been abused, a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home-working-mom, a homeschooling mom, and a mom with children in all stages of life at once. Currently I’m the mother of an adult son, a tween, an elementary son, and a preschooler.

I feel like the Lord has equipped me to reach out to many other moms in a relatable way because I can say that I truly get what they’re going through because I’ve been there. I realize that I haven’t faced every struggle that other moms have dealt with, but even so, I hope this post speaks to you and you find it helpful. The one thing I hope I never have in common with other moms, is being a mother who has lost a child. I have friends and family who have gone through this and it has to be the most tragic thing in life to deal with. I want to say to you that I am so extremely sorry and I want you to know that I am praying for you almost everyday. I may not know your name, but I pray for God to restore your joy and to be your strength.

Whatever you’re facing as a mom, I know that God will use your struggles for His glory! You may not be able to see it right now, but He’s working behind the scenes and preparing you for a great future.

pink flowers in a flower pot

My story of becoming a mom…

I remember my first time becoming a mom. At that point of my life, it was the single greatest moment for me. I had been told by doctors at age 13 that I may never be able to have children because I kept getting cysts on my ovaries that required surgery to take care of. Then at just 16, when doctors went in to remove another cyst, they also discovered stage 3 endometriosis.

I was devastated when I received that news! My number one goal in life was to one day become a mom. Whenever we had family events, everyone knew that when Amanda showed up, they’d have to hand over the babies! Ha! I hogged all the babies! I couldn’t get enough. I was always more of a motherly type who enjoyed hanging out with adults rather than kids my own age.

Knowing my history and hearing the doctor’s voices in my mind, I decided (at just 19) that I needed to try to have a baby while I was young. I had been dating this guy who I thought for sure was “the one” and he acted like he wanted to have a baby with me. When I almost immediately got pregnant, I was extremely shocked and the fear set in. What would my parents say? What would everyone think of me now? I’m going to have to give birth!!

Another devastating blow came not too long after I found out that I was pregnant. The man who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with started showing his true colors. He lied to me, cheated on me, and even abused me. When I was about 7 months pregnant, we got into an argument and he shoved me down. Thankfully, the baby was okay. I should’ve left him then, but I was young and scared. I thought that staying with him was the best thing for the baby because it was his dad.

About a year after my son was born, I had finally had enough. Nothing had really changed. He was in and out of my son’s life. He never bought anything for him. He didn’t even help me with diapers. When I finally told him to leave, it seemed as if he was just waiting for me to tell him to go.

I haven’t seen or heard from that guy in almost 20 years. And even though being a single mom was one of the hardest times of my life, I can honestly look back and thank the Lord that things didn’t work out the way I had hoped they would.

To the single mom…

I feel you! I have never cried so many tears as I did when I was a single mom. I begged God almost daily to send me a man who would make a great father to my son. Of course I wanted someone for me too. I had never felt so lonely. I felt like the Lord had abandoned me.

I was tired! Tired of working full-time while raising my son alone. Tired of doing EVERYTHING by myself. Tired of being lonely. Tired of dating! At one point I was working full-time and going to college full-time, while being a single mom. I missed my son so badly during those days.

God has proven to me time and time again that He moves suddenly! I dated all the wrong guys and never thought I’d find the one who God had chosen for me. But when I finally stopped searching and turned all of my focus towards Christ, that’s when I met the man that God had planned for me all along. We met in church and instantly had this connection. I went to my friends after just meeting him and said that I think I met “the one”. It didn’t take long to find out that he felt the same way. We dated for just 3 months before getting engaged and then we were married just 3 months later. We’ve been together now for over 14 years. It’s incredible to see how God moved SO quickly on my behalf once I took the focus off of finding a man and turned my gaze upon the Lord.

night sky

When I started writing this post, I thought about the moms that I can’t really relate to because I haven’t experienced it myself. One of my thoughts was addiction. I’ve never been an addict. But as my story unfolds here, I remember the time that alcohol could’ve destroyed my destiny if God hadn’t rescued me and changed my course.

To the mom who is addicted…

My loneliness and exhaustion led to depression. Before I knew it, I had started a bad habit of drinking alcohol. I wasn’t just drinking. I was going out to clubs and drinking whatever the men bought me. So many terrible things could’ve happened to me, but God had His hands on me for sure. I had gotten so drunk that I was ashamed to go pick up my son from my parent’s house. I didn’t want them to know that side of me, so I’d stay the night with friends and pick my son up the next day. This sort of behavior went on for at least several months, maybe even around a year. It’s hard to remember for sure.

I come from a long line of alcoholics and I never imagined that I would even step foot in that door, but there I was.

God brought me back to Him and freed me from alcoholism in an instant. I very clearly remember the last night that I got drunk…or at least the day after. I was supposed to be spending the day with my best friend at her company’s picnic at a theme park, but the night before, I had gotten drunker than I had ever been. Trying to be a great friend, I still went with her. It was a total disaster and I ended up feeling like the worst friend in the world! I had to keep going to the bathroom to throw up. She ended up leaving the event early so she could take me home where I spent the rest of that night throwing up. I had never felt so terrible, both mentally and physically. That was the night that I asked God to forgive me and from that moment on, I didn’t want anything to do with alcohol again.

God will provide a way out but you have to want it bad enough.

Road

You have to want freedom more than that familiar taste that draws you in. You have to want your child more than you want moments of pleasure. You have to desire mental clarity and stability more than the thrill that your addiction brings. Addictions lead to death! Being freed from addictions brings new life!

Call out to God and He will answer you. He hears your prayers and He sees your struggles. You may be walking through some tough trials right now, but He wants to turn your tests into testimonies. Will you let Him? Or will you continue doing things your own way and getting nowhere?

Pink Flower

To the young mom…

I want to go back for a minute and speak to the young moms. I pray that someone will read this and be encouraged. When my dad found out that I was pregnant at just 19 years old, he thought my life was ruined forever. He wouldn’t speak to me for 3 days. My dad and I were super close and spoke at least once a day, if not multiple times a day. We even worked at the same place. So when he didn’t speak to me for 3 days, that felt like eternity to me.

My dad finally came around, but there were still many people who looked down on me for not only being so young, but also for not being married. It wasn’t an easy time in my life, but God was with me and I made it through.

People may look down on you, but realize that you ultimately answer to God. Having a child when you’re young can be very challenging but there are also many positives to it. Had I waited until I was older to start having children, I don’t think I would’ve had the energy to take care of him, work, and go to college. My body also bounced back very quickly after childbirth.

My advice to the young moms is to fix your eyes on the Lord. Focus on what He is saying to you and drown out the voices of negativity that try to invade your mind. Ask for help when you need it. No matter how young or old you are, moms can always use a helping hand. Snuggle with you children as much as possible because before you know it, they’ll be pushing you away. The times that it all seems like too much, just keep going back to the Lord. He will get you through this!

To the mother considering abortion…

The Lord put it on my heart to speak to mothers who may be considering abortion. Although this isn’t something that I have ever considered myself, when I got pregnant with my first son, my boyfriend’s mother tried to convince me to have an abortion. She didn’t think that we were ready to become parents. When she realized that there was no way I would have an abortion, she then tried to convince me to consider adoption.

So maybe you’re feeling like aborting because you are feeling pressure from others around you for whatever reason. Maybe you’ve been told that there may be something wrong with your baby. Maybe you’re just plain scared and don’t think that you are ready for this.

Please let me encourage you. Please hear what I say because this wasn’t intended to be a part of my message, but the Lord put this on my heart for someone specific. If you’re feeling butterflies in your stomach right now and your heart is beating faster, it’s because this right here was meant just for you!

DON’T DO IT!

The Lord is with you and He will carry you and your baby through. If you follow through with an abortion, there will be deep pain, sorrow, and regret. You will always wonder what he or she would’ve been like. You will experience loneliness like never before. Grief will overtake you. Don’t do it! I can’t imagine if I had allowed someone to pressure me into giving up my baby. Although yes, life was super tough for many years, I wouldn’t trade my son for any amount of money. I’ve gained so much by being his mother. Please feel free to send me an e-mail at info@Biblemomma.com if you need someone to talk to.

To all moms…

I was going to go into details from other moments in my motherhood, but honestly, just being a mom, no matter what challenges you face, can be tough. We ALL deal with sleepless nights, sick children, exhaustion, and worry. We all wonder if we’re doing it right and how we’ll get through it. Should we bottle feed or breastfeed? Should we vaccinate or not? Should we stay home with them or work outside the home? There are so many important decisions to make and no mother aims to mess it all up on purpose. We each do the best we know to do.

We all go through the stages of teething and crying and constant dirty diapers. Then there’s seasons where it seems like all you’re doing is cleaning up mess after mess and chasing after that toddler who is so sneaky and fast. You feel like you can’t find 5 minutes to catch your breath.

You may have a clingy child who won’t let you go to the bathroom alone. Or sadly, you may have one who wants nothing to do with you and you may think there’s something wrong with them. That’s how our last son has been. He’s almost 5 now and I’ve finally found a loving side to him. It’s always on his terms, but at least he sometimes hugs me now. I can promise you that if you have a child like him, you will cherish those hugs so much more!

Before you know it, they are FINALLY becoming somewhat independent. You never thought there’d be a day where you didn’t have to do EVERYTHING for them…but just like how God moves suddenly, it will seem like your child just all of the sudden started growing up.

The days really are long and the years are somehow short. Those elementary years have seemed to go by the fastest for me with my oldest son. It’s almost like he went from a 5 year old to a 20 year old in just a few short years. I don’t know how that happens, but I promise you that it really does feel that way.

Hold on tight to your children and show them love every possible chance you get. Get off of your phone and spend some quality time with them because soon they’ll have other things begging for their attention. You don’t get a do-over. You get one shot with each child. Make the most of it!

**If you’ve enjoyed this post and would like some more encouragement, check out this post where I shared a moment of my life that took me awhile to share because I was ashamed at how overwhelmed motherhood was for me. You can also find more encouragement on my Facebook page, Bible Momma.

Be blessed my friends!

 

 

5 Comments

  1. Kathryn

    May 11, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    Oh Amanda, you have lived many lives. Thank you so much for sharing so much of your heart in one post. You have an amazing testimony and I’m so thankful for the ways that God has met you in your journey. My sister has endometriosis and was not able to have biological children. Thankfully, she has two beautiful adopted children so God had a plan even there. Bless you.

    1. biblemomma

      May 17, 2020 at 5:59 pm

      I always wanted to adopt too! I tease my husband sometimes because he got to adopt (my oldest son) and I didn’t. Haha!

  2. Natasha

    May 11, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I hope this will touch many.

  3. Kristen

    May 17, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    Very beautiful written. Being a mom is such an incredibly difficult job but so very rewarding. I am so grateful that the Lord was able to help you through your challenging moments. Thank you so much for sharing.

    1. biblemomma

      May 17, 2020 at 5:57 pm

      Thank you so much! 😊

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